Saturday, April 18, 2009

H-ear! H-ear!*

(* Fine, I stole that from Harry Potter.)

[Note: This story is about 99% true with a tad bit of exaggeration. Also note, this incident took place when I was about 9 years old.)

It was a hot summer afternoon. A very hot afternoon. Two girls locked up in a room with nothing to do. One girl is lying down on her bed and thinking about random things in her life, lost in her own world. The other said girl was digging vigorously through a drawer.

Let's call Girl No. 1 me and the other one Sanju.

Minutes passed by and the intense digging continued.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeek!" she squealed.
"What?" I asked, tiredly. When Sanju squealed, it meant something bad was was going to happen. Sigh.
" Are you going to tell me?"
" Look at these earrings! They're gorgeous! You never told me you had them! They're so pretty!"
" Hmm...Yeah. Got them a while ago but never really got around to wearing them. Now where did I get them? Maybe someone gave them to me... Or I think I got them last year...." I sunk into my own thoughts.
" But they're beautiful." she probed.
"Sanju, would you like to try them on?
She snorted, " And take off my earrings? Like I have no dignity. Mine are pretty enough, thank you very much."
"Yes, pretty." I picked a book and started reading.
She jumped on me, slammed the book out of my hands and looked at me with widened, shining eyes.
"I know! You should wear them. They're too pretty to be wasted."
"Haha. Sanj. I don't think so. My ear holes have closed, I think. And I don't wear artificial earrings, however gorgeous. I get infections."

Of course, this is Sanju. She ignored my somewhat weak protest and approached me with with one shiny earring.

"You worry too much. C'mon. I've done this a few million times. I'm practically a professional. Just a slight push. I once did it to my cousin. She said I was fabulous. And even my uncle said I was good at this...though God alone knows why he involves himself with jewelry.... just to embarrass himself, I suppose." she went on.

"Sanju. I really don't have a good feeling about this." I wrestled her approaching hand off me.
" Nonsense. Now stop fidgeting."
I stopped fidgeting.

She put one earring through a hole, very carefully. Well at least she started carefully. And then she pushed a little.

"Ow. Sanju, that hurt."
"Will you stop moving?"
Pushed a little harder.
"What are you trying to do, Sanju? Kill me? That really hurt!"
"Stop talking, will you? You're breaking my fantastic concentration."
"Fine" I sighed.
After a little more pushing....
"There! It's done. Now, the next one!"
"Are you crazy? I almost died! You stay away from me, woman."
" You overreact. I was fabulous. Fantafabulous, in fact."
"Shuduuuurp." I said, choking in pain.
"Now stay still. Just one more."
I sighed. She'd get her way. There was no point in fighting.

With shining eyes, she started putting the second one in.
"Let's see how fast I can do this one. One, Two, THREE."

"What did you do? You idiot! You poked a separate hole through my ear! Not through the normal one, no. You made a new hole! Ouch! Oh my god. My mum's going to kill me! Sanjuuuu!"

She looked a little sheepish.
"Hey. They look good on you." she tried.
I glared.
"Fine, fine. Sorry. It won't happen again. Next time, I'll..."
"Next time?" I croaked.
" Okay, so there won't be a next time. But what are you yakking about? You look hot!"
I sighed. It did look kind of good.

One hour later
"Mom, look. Sanju put these earrings on me"
"Aren't the artificial? You get infections don't you?"
"Well, whatever. The look nice. That girl, Sanju. Always looking out for me." I said loyally.

2 months later

"Nidhi, what's that black stuff on your ears" My mom asked worriedly.
"I don't know but my ear's been burning for the last couple of days."
"Then why didn't you say anything?"
" I don't know." I shrugged, " Thought it would pass."

She inspected my ear carefully.
"This is not looking good. You've got an infection."
"Nooo! But I like these earrings!"
"I know but it's no good if it's going to hurt you in the end, is it? Now I'm going to take it off very slowly. It might hurt just a little but don't move, okay?"
Not okay. If a mom said it's going to hurt a little, It's going to hurt a lot.

She slowly started taking one out.
"Aaahhh! That hurt!" I screeched at the first sign of adversity.

She realised that I'm not going to listen to her so she called in the big guns. She called in my Dad. He did a full on inspection of my ears.
Very wisely he said, " I think it's an infection."
My mom banged her head on the table and my eyes started to tear up at the word 'infection'.

Half an hour later.

My mom was holding my, thrashing, arms and legs. My dad had two sterilized tweezers in his hand, trying to yank off the earrings. And me. Me, wailing at the top of my voice. My lungs at their highest and my voice reaching altogether new decibels.

One hour later

They were off. It hurt. My ears were now clean, without a trace of fungus and slightly red. Sanju. She was going to pay.

I went over to her house, to scream at her.
"Hey. You're earrings are off! Dang. They were pretty. Guess what? I know what we're going to do this afternoon! My cousin's over and she has lots of pretty earrings. We can try them on.

I fumed.

" Should I help you with yours?"



If you must know, I took months to recover from this particularly traumatic experience. Much to Sanju's shock, those earring had to be thrown away. After that, I have never, ever trusted Sanju with jewelry. I still get horrid nightmares. And if you're wondering, Sanju's real name is 'Sanjana'.

But in then end, we all lived happily ever after. Snort.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Go Shorty, It's your Burday. We Gonna Partay like it's your Burday.

Sooo....I'm fifteen.
Running on my sixteenth year. Whoa.
A friend told me that 'Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional'. That is SO freaking true. At least in my case because I don't think the kid in me is ever going to grow up.

Somehow I don't get why growing older means not screaming out loud when you are excited, or not to hyperventilate when you're stressed. Why does growing up have to mean having complete control over your emotions? It's super annoying to have people say, "Act your age."
Another thing I have a HUGE problem is with people saying, " Hey. You're fifteen. You should stop watching Barney." Aaaargh. Well, excuse me if watching Barney offended you in any way. I happen to like purple and green dinosaurs who sing adorable family songs.

ANYhoo, enough ranting. Now that I'm fifteen, I'm in the mood to make resolutions and oaths (which I know I'm going to break in time).
This year, I'm going to faithfully scoff at all people who say, "Act your age".(feeling the optimism?). I WILL try to act my own age (whatever that means). Oh, and I'm going to try not fighting with my own friends. I have to remember, they are the ones who love me. But, hey, mock fights are totally allowed. I'm not going to turn saint, like, boring.

Oh and duuuuuude. I'm gonna have to stop losing my compasses. Not just compasses, stationary in general. But compasses specifically.
Ooooh! and I need to grow taller! I'm just five foot and 3 and a half inches. Which kinda sucks. I'm tiny. When I was a kid, about seven or eight, fifteen year old girls used to look so tall. But now that I'm fifteen, sigh, I seem so short. All a matter of perspective. Snort.

Another resolution: Keep the sarcasm and eye rolling and the oh-so-witty comments to the minimal. But, oh, I love being sarcastic. It's so hard to keep the fabulously smart comments to myself. Fine, cancel that. Deal with it, people. I got everything? Yeah. Well thank you, gentle readers. Your listening skills never waver.

Over and out. :)