Monday, September 29, 2008

Brace Yourself

I hate braces. I hate them, I hate them, I hate them. They are the most annoying things ever discovered by mankind. They hurt. Who knew that little pieces of titanium glued on by some weird astronaut-ish glue on you teeth would hurt like pulling an organ out of your body and screwing it up and putting it back. But it does hurt that much.

When you first get your brace it hurts so much that you can't stop ranting about it and it finally makes all the people around you go "WE GET IT. IT HURTS. STOP CRIBBING". But when I want to crib, no one can stop me. Next time, get some ear plugs. When you get over the first week of aching, you realise how annoying braces can be. Food gets stuck in your braces and you have to brush after every meal. For Christ's sake, I have to carry a kit with my electronic brush, the ishpecial braces brush and the tiny spiral one which gets out all the tiny food particles from your braces. I have three brushes and I have to spend at least 10 minutes with brushing. So- I have breakfast- then I need to brush. (10 minutes). I have lunch- then I need to brush (20 minutes) and then the occasional snack in between lunch and dinner- I still have to brush (even if it's just two biscuits- so 30 minutes) and of course, ze dinner.( 40 minutes) I spend 40 minutes of my day just brushing. Can you even imagine how aggravating this is??? No, you cant. Because it is unimaginable. Only my fellow brace buddies can understand and sympathise.

As if all this brushing and pain isn't enough, there are food restrictions. Yes, you heard me. Ever heard of going for a movie and NOT having popcorn?? Well, I'm banned from having popcorn. Apparently, it gets stuck. And that is not good. If it gets stuck in the braces, it'll stay there for eternity. There is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Hello?? heard of brushing...and um, toothpaste? the thing I've been ranting about all this time? Yes, it helps to get out stuff from your braces. But no, popcorn still remains banned. Case closed.

Chocolate. The sole reason why I choose to live. The eternal Holy food. The food. This is really going to make you cry: It's banned. It hurt when my dentist told me " Oh yea, and no chocolates either." No chocolates? What, are you kidding me? Do you actually believe that I'm gonna keep to that rule??Nada. Thankfully, my parents agree with me over here. "I guess one chocolate- not two hard or sticky, mind you- every once in a while wouldn't harm you. Just make sure you brush well" Oh, thank god for my mom! So now you know why I'm still alive- I break the rules.

Practically anything under the category hard or stick is banned. I mean, EVERYthing that tastes good, is banned. I don't even have to list all the number of things that are banned. You just have to think of anything that tastes good. Chips?Banned. Caramel?Banned. Cookies?Banned. However, I do break the rules. And I do eat all the 'BANNED' stuff. It's just that my dentist knows when I've eaten stuff against the rules. It's almost like he's Santa- "he knows when you're naughty and he knows when your nice". He just knows.

And I for one, find it unfair that only a few misfortuned ones get braces. It's most unfair! Why doesn't EVERYONE just get braces. Oh forget everyone- why me?

P.S - I know that I've just cribbed on this post but I dont care! It's MY blog so I'M gonna crib on it. Okay?

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Things I Thunk

These are a collection of random things I thunk just now:

* I should really clean my room. It's coming to a stage where things have started decomposing inside it.

* 'Random' is a weird word. Ra-ndom...raaandom......

* I hate change of any kind.

* Chocolate tastes chocolate-y

* The word cool sounds cool.

* I should be doing something more important than blogging. Studying, for instance.

* History is very historical.

* I wish I had a country named after me.

* While I'm wishing, I'd like a chocolate sundae that has lots of hot chocolate syrup wit chocolate chips and chocolate sprinkles in it.

* Living can be very tiring.

* Egypt sounds like a nice country.

* I love Keanu Reeves.

* Why do people blink? I mean, the world cant be that ugly that we have to close our eyes every half a second.

* Why is salsa a type of dance? Isn't it supposed to be an amazingly spicy sauce that you're supposed to eat with nachos?

* Jack Black is funny.

* Enrique Iglesias would make a very pretty girl.

* Why do all Disney stars insist on singing? I mean, just because you can act (not that well, mind you), that does NOT mean you can sing. Have heard Miley Cyrus? or try Ashley Tisdale. Gah!!

* I want to learn a new language. German? ooooooh! or how about Spanish?

* I want to just sit and read. Without anyone disturbing me. No phone calls, no one saying " Dont you have anything better to do?" or " Clean up your room. NOW." I want to read. It's a fundamental right which I totally deserve.

* When I was a little kid, I used to think the world of teenagers. Now that I'm a teenager, it isn't ALL that great. Sure, it's nice. But not as great as I thought it would be.

* Anything fried tastes awesome. I bet if i put some cockroaches in boiling oil, they would taste great (no guarantee,of course).

* I want to eat a burger.

* Hair. Isn't it weird? Random bits of string made of dead cells that hang from the head. Weird.

* Why do people say that lions roar? because they dont. When they open their mouth, it sounds NOTHING like 'Roooaaarr!'

*On the other hand, hyenas DO laugh.

* Lion King is an amazing movie. Un-roaring lions, laughing hyenas, stupid little funny animals... they've got it all.

* I want to visit Timbuktu.

* I want a lot of things which I never get. But i WILL go to Timbuktu. I'll show you, I'll show you all!!!!!

* If you are still reading this, hi. how ya doin'?

*Internet is the greatest invention ever. After the telephone, of course.
* I want a pet panda for my next birthday. Is everyone still around?

Well that's enough thinking for today.
Happy thinking,y'all!:)

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

The 'Kick Me!' Incident

The characters involved in this episode of my life:
Namrata- my partner in crime

Aishwarya- a part of the enthusiastic audience

and me.

ok, there is one other very important character in this story whose name i do not want to disclose. So lets just call her whats-her-name. And of course, the accomplices of whats-her-name who are Miss Snob and Miss Flirt- a - lot.

Friday afternoon. Concert practice in school. TOTAL chaos.
So in the middle of this chaos, Namrata and me were in a particularly mishchevious mood... when are we not? But on this day it was enhanced by the fact that there was no teacher in the class.

Namrata and me had a knack for annoying whats-her-name. And with the wonderful atmosphere in class, whats-her-name was positively in danger. She should have gone into hiding like her accomplices had adviced. But she didn't.

Namrata had a piece of chalk in her hand... and a wicked smile on her face. She looked at whats-her-name's bag, nodded at me and i got to work. While Namrata distracted whats-her-name with some lame small talk, i wrote, in big bold capital letters, 'KICK ME!' on whats-her-name's bagpack. Oh yea, don't forget the exclamation. Apparently, it's very important. The job was done. The crime was committed. Though while i committed the crime, random spectators like Aishwarya burst out laughing and screamed in joy (She had obviously lost it). So after this, Namrata and me waited restlessly for whats-her-name to find out. We waited for a minute, a minute and a half, two minutes....tic toc tic toc....aaaand BOOM! She figured it out.

[ Ok. So we'll take a pause over here. At this point Namrata and me thought- Yes, we thought. that's where we went wrong- that whats-her-name would probably try to write 'KICK ME!' on our bags and scream her head off and completely crazy. Were we wrong or what.]

Any guesses to what she actually did?No? Didn't think so. She started crying. Yes, crying. We had truly hurt her. She ran upstairs to get all the attention from rest of the class, namely, Miss Snob and Miss Flirt-a-lot.

Namrata and me, mortified, thought (you don't have to rub it in, you know) that she went to snitch to the teacher. So what do we do? We run before anyone could stop us. We meet up with Aishwarya downstairs and start discussing the current affairs. After about fifteen minutes, whats-her-name appears in the arms of Miss Snob and Miss Flirt-a-lot.

Much against Aishwarya's views, Namrata and me decided to apologize. We walked up to whats-her-name hesitantly.

"Ummm... We are sorry" Namrata ventured.
"Maybe we did go a bit too far" I said, sheepishly.

This was of course addressed to whats-her-name. But Miss Flirt-a-lot decides that she just has to intervene-
" You people are just too much"

Creative use of words.
Now her intervention got me mad. Real mad. I mean, we didn't even do as much as look at her but being the nosy stinkball she is, she just had to interfere. So I started screaming my head off at Miss Flirt-a-lot and the next thing I know, Namrata and Miss Snob are at it for i don't know what. Whats-her-name's face was just screaming-' Wasn't this an apology for me?!?! '

After looking at whats-her-name's face, all of us stopped and looked at her sheepishly.
" You guys should know you limits. You really crossed you limits" she said.

[ Over here, I would have liked to point out that we just wrote two words on her bag pack. But I let it pass]

I was still kind of ok with what she said because maybe it was kind of true. Of course, in the background, Miss Snob and Miss Flirt-a-lot were glaring at us and making faces

[ At this point, I decided to take it all in. I rewinded this whole situation and went through what had happened. Namrata and me, wrote two harmless words and one exclamation mark on a girl's bag and now.we were the most hated girls in our class. For some reason, I found this hilariously funny]

What do I generally do when i find something funny? I laugh. So in the middle of this solemn moment, I burst out laughing. Of course, this ruined the apology. When i looked at Namrata, you could practically see the fumes coming out of her ears. She yanked my arm and dragged me out of the area where we met up with Aishwarya.

" You started LAUGHING in middle of the APOLOGY????" she screamed. She hadn't even started. Aishwarya burst out laughing when she heard of what happened with the apology but quickly started consoling us when she saw our murderous glares. This, of course, did nothing to help our reputation in class.

I still found this situation extremely funny. But when i got home, i started feeling a tad bit guilty (About time). I hurt someone and then burst out laughing while apologizing. That was not a nice thing to do. So i sat down and wrote this bee-yoo-tiful apology letter for whats-her-name. Namrata rolled her eyes when she saw it but eventually signed it too.

So mission for tomorrow: Apologize. Without laughing.

The next day, we slipped the letter in her bag. (The 'KICK ME!' sign was off. Surprise, surprise.)

She read the letter and things actually improved between us. Sure, we hated each others guts, but not that openly anymore. After this incident, I never thought that whats-her-name and me could ever be friends. Not in a million years. Not in a trillion years. But eventually, she started to despise Miss Flirt-a-lot and Miss Snob (Gee, I wonder why) and guess what? It took a year, but now we are the best of friends. Now it's hard to believe that there was a moment where i couldn't stand even looking at her face. Weird how things turn out, huh?

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Woes of Women

For aeons, men have dominated the face of Mother Earth. They consider themselves the rulers of her. But that's not why I'm writing this article. I'm writing this to tell you about how women have been shunned while the world we live in has become a Man's world.

In The Da Vinci Code, a well researched book, Dan Brown mentions that through the centuries, men started to neglect women. They started to consider her unholy, when earlier, she was considered the spiritual part of the species of Homo sapiens. The Catholic church decided that free-thinking women were witches on Earth. To eradicate these women, they burnt an astounding 5 million women. Yes, 5 million. And why? Because women used their scientific knowledge to ease the pain of childbirth?which was apparently a deserved punishment because Eve got dibs on the Apple of Knowledge? No. It's because men were afraid. They knew, if these free-thinking women were released from their lashes, they could dominate the world.

I'm not pointing fingers at anyone. All I'm saying it look at the facts. Ignoring the biological truth about women being able to give birth, Man, is said to be The Creator. How can people be so incredibly blind? It is a clear fact that women, ONLY women can create life.

The worst part is that traces of this sexist behaviour can be observed even in today's world. In a developing nation like India, women are burnt because their spouse learnt that there's a female inside her womb. How can people possibly be so heartless? Even worse, are women who encourage this behaviour, the ones who are ashamed to be one.

But now, with the new generation, women are not listening to it anymore. They are standing up for themselves. They are dominating every field and yet I dont see any free-thinking men being burnt up. With feminists like Sudha Murthy and Shobha De` and thousands of other ignited souls, women are finally returning to their rightful place in society.