Monday, September 29, 2008

Brace Yourself

I hate braces. I hate them, I hate them, I hate them. They are the most annoying things ever discovered by mankind. They hurt. Who knew that little pieces of titanium glued on by some weird astronaut-ish glue on you teeth would hurt like pulling an organ out of your body and screwing it up and putting it back. But it does hurt that much.

When you first get your brace it hurts so much that you can't stop ranting about it and it finally makes all the people around you go "WE GET IT. IT HURTS. STOP CRIBBING". But when I want to crib, no one can stop me. Next time, get some ear plugs. When you get over the first week of aching, you realise how annoying braces can be. Food gets stuck in your braces and you have to brush after every meal. For Christ's sake, I have to carry a kit with my electronic brush, the ishpecial braces brush and the tiny spiral one which gets out all the tiny food particles from your braces. I have three brushes and I have to spend at least 10 minutes with brushing. So- I have breakfast- then I need to brush. (10 minutes). I have lunch- then I need to brush (20 minutes) and then the occasional snack in between lunch and dinner- I still have to brush (even if it's just two biscuits- so 30 minutes) and of course, ze dinner.( 40 minutes) I spend 40 minutes of my day just brushing. Can you even imagine how aggravating this is??? No, you cant. Because it is unimaginable. Only my fellow brace buddies can understand and sympathise.

As if all this brushing and pain isn't enough, there are food restrictions. Yes, you heard me. Ever heard of going for a movie and NOT having popcorn?? Well, I'm banned from having popcorn. Apparently, it gets stuck. And that is not good. If it gets stuck in the braces, it'll stay there for eternity. There is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Hello?? heard of brushing...and um, toothpaste? the thing I've been ranting about all this time? Yes, it helps to get out stuff from your braces. But no, popcorn still remains banned. Case closed.

Chocolate. The sole reason why I choose to live. The eternal Holy food. The food. This is really going to make you cry: It's banned. It hurt when my dentist told me " Oh yea, and no chocolates either." No chocolates? What, are you kidding me? Do you actually believe that I'm gonna keep to that rule??Nada. Thankfully, my parents agree with me over here. "I guess one chocolate- not two hard or sticky, mind you- every once in a while wouldn't harm you. Just make sure you brush well" Oh, thank god for my mom! So now you know why I'm still alive- I break the rules.

Practically anything under the category hard or stick is banned. I mean, EVERYthing that tastes good, is banned. I don't even have to list all the number of things that are banned. You just have to think of anything that tastes good. Chips?Banned. Caramel?Banned. Cookies?Banned. However, I do break the rules. And I do eat all the 'BANNED' stuff. It's just that my dentist knows when I've eaten stuff against the rules. It's almost like he's Santa- "he knows when you're naughty and he knows when your nice". He just knows.

And I for one, find it unfair that only a few misfortuned ones get braces. It's most unfair! Why doesn't EVERYONE just get braces. Oh forget everyone- why me?

P.S - I know that I've just cribbed on this post but I dont care! It's MY blog so I'M gonna crib on it. Okay?